Registered! Richmond Half Marathon - Nov 13, 2010

After the Run2Register 10k in Quantico this past March when I finally got under a 10 min mile pace, my ex and I made this bet: if I could go sub 9 min in a 10k race by the end of 2010, we would go away for a long weekend, destination of my choice. If I didn't get under a 9 min mile, he would choose a half marathon for me to run. I was much happier to work on speed vs distance. But now that bet is void and I had never wanted to run any race with "marathon" in it...only races ending in "K", thank you very much. So how did running a half marathon make it to the bucket list?

If I had wanted to do a triathlon or run a marathon when I was in the relationship, it would've made my ex ecstatic. Even if it was my own decision, I knew it would make him happy too. Sure, we all try out new interests to have something in common to share with our partner (that's how I got into running), and there's nothing wrong with that as long as it's balanced between both parties. But deciding to do these races now after the relationship has ended is truly because I want to, so I can push myself to new limits. That is so much more motivating than making someone else happy. For the past month, I've known I have to focus on myself. I picked the right individualistic sports to do so.

So why the Richmond half marathon? A couple months ago, my ex also coerced me into signing up for the Army Ten Miler based on the reassurance that if I wasn't ready by Oct 24, he'd pay for my registration. I knew this was his tricky plot to get me running a half marathon one day and I resisted at first but caved and signed up. Now here I am, registered for my longest race to date. With the help of very empathetic running buddies, I think I've got a chance of being ready. Assuming I get through the 10 miler successfully, I would have 3 weeks to train and add another 5k to that distance for the Richmond half marathon (there is also an 8k and full marathon that morning if anyone's interested!). My parents, brother and a couple longtime friends live in the Richmond area so I'm banking on their support that day. I even met new friends this weekend (also running their first half marathon) that have offered a place to crash within walking distance to the race!

Maybe the scary part isn't the training but rather, what if I like it? Could there be more half marathons in my future? We'll see. One day at a time. One race at a time.

Go Ahead, Tri Me

With my belay certification behind me (and future climbing ahead of me if my friends and colleagues have anything to say about it), I look to #3 on the list: the sprint triathlon at Lake Anna in Bumpass, VA...and yes, that is a real town. Even better it's a heated lake, or rather, a reservoir of water coolant for the North Anna Nuclear Generating Station. Intrigued? Don't you wanna go check it out...say October 3? While I pimp myself out for any support I can get that day, I have also found and tweaked an 8-week training program that will hopefully lessen my anxiety about the race from paralyzing terror to manageable nervousness. I have a week and a half to build up my swim to 30 min...that's my major weakness. Why didn't I just sign up for a duathlon? Meh.


(click on table to enlarge)

#1 Belay Certification - completed July 19, 2010

Introductory Climbing Classes: $75
Climbing Harness: $50
Chalk Bag and Chalk Sock: $26
Carabiners and Belay Device: $25
Climbing Shoes: $90

Passing belay certification and achieving the very first goal of your break up bucket list: PRICELESS

The Break Up Bucket List

So how did the list start? My *ahem* ex (sorry, still getting used to calling him that) had a list of his own...things he wanted to do in an undefined amount of time. I was happy to support him through all the accomplishments and achievements - those moments are so much better when shared. But here I am, newly single. I was on the phone with my aunt recently and she asked, "well, what's on YOUR list?" I said, "I don't have one...how settled I am in life now and the experiences I've had so far is exactly where I want to be". I thought about what I've been saying I've been meaning to do: belay certification to start climbing, learn to snowboard, go hang gliding. Then I thought about things I told myself I could never see myself doing (triathlon, half marathon - or any race with the word marathon in it). So I put those on the list too, to test my own limits and capabilities. Next thing I know, I've got a list!

1. Belay certification to go climbing
2. Hang gliding
3. Sprint triathlon
4. Run a half marathon
5. Learn to snowboard
6. Buy a condo in DC
7. Learn to sail
8. Scuba certification
9. Obtain a pilot's license
10. Get a Master's degree in Public Health (MPH)

Some of these goals can be accomplished in the next few months and some will take a few years. Pacing is key. People do crazy things to make themselves over after a break up - drastic new haircut or hair color. Me? I sign up for a sprint triathlon and half marathon! Look out world, a new and improved me is a' comin'.

The Break Up

June 22 & June 30, 2010

In one word: awful. Worst days of my life, second only to the days I found out about my 21 yr old cousin's tragic car accident and subsequent passing after a 5-month coma.

We had just gotten back from Hawaii only 2 weeks prior and had an amazing trip together. The end came suddenly and unexpectedly. No prolonging the agony, no phasing out of the relationship, no fake attempts at friendship. Just the end. It's hard to walk away when you both still love each other and ultimately wish it could work out in the end. So I got dumped. Or as my friend and colleague puts it, we had "differing opinions on the status of the relationship". That's a lot of fluff for 'I got dumped' but I'll take it. :-)

I look back on the relationship and appreciate it for all the great memories and experiences it provided me. Everyone's waiting for me to get to the angry, resentful phase but it's hard to find something to hate. Just frustrated at the situation and things I can't control. So I just appreciate it for what it was and accept it for what it wasn't...much like I did with him as a person. Now all I can do...is focus on me. Welcome to my journey.